Another TV recommendation you won't take.

So, Veronica Mars.

I've been hearing buzz about this show since it started last year but I never checked it out. I rented a couple discs from Netflix and--long story short--now I own the first season.

Veronica Mars takes place in Neptune, a California town where the ultra-rich and the barely scraping by attend the same public high school. Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) attends Neptune High, where she's just undergone a drastic change in status. Her best friend Lilly was murdered and Veronica's father Keith (Enrico Colantoni), the Neptune sheriff, remains convinced Lilly's father is her killer even after another man gives a full confession. Keith is run out of office and becomes a private detective, making a living from proving infidelities and tracking down bail-jumpers.

All this is bad enough, but for a high school student, it's even worse. Veronica loses all status; her old clique--the rich kids--hate her and the poor kids hate her for having been with the rich kids before. She is roofied and raped when she attends a party for her former crowd. The Veronica that we meet in the flashbacks is not around anymore. We've got a tougher, sardonic, witty Veronica. She's a Veronica that stakes out adulterers for her father with a Calc test yet to be studied for.

It's good stuff.

It's not all terrible dark things, and they've really done an excellent job of balancing lighter material with the seamy underbelly of affluent California. Laughs come pretty readily, mystery abounds, and there are some truly affecting moments. Most of the episodes are pretty self-contained, but each one has little tidbits that contribute to the yearlong story which is a great way to reward viewers (i.e. me).

Oh, and Kristen Bell? Rawr. If Kristen Bell were a dinosaur, she'd have existed in the cuteaceous period.

Veronica Mars : Wednesday, 8PM Central on UPN (wha?)

I bought new socks.

This is awesome.

This update made possible by Gold Toe.

Congratulations, Sox

Here's to the Chicago White Sox on winning the World Series quickly so my regularly scheduled programming can return. I'm just glad baseball's over.

So the Red Sox have broken the curse and the White Sox have won for the first time in 88 years. I think it's Cubbie time next year. I dread the possibilities of a Cubs / White Sox series, though:

Cubs fan: "Hey, go Cubs!"
White Sox fan: shanks Cubs fan in the parking lot and robs corpse.

Heh.

Law of averages

I've seen two movies in a row that I didn't care for. The Weather Man's gotta be good, right?

Please be good.

Domino

I think Tony Scott might actually be some sort of evil genius bent on driving epileptics into seizures. All he has achieved in film is just a mere stepping stone to his diabolical plan.

Yeah. I was actually excited to see Domino, as I liked Man on Fire a ton, with its softening of Creasy and slow buildup to the kidnapping and Creasy's cold exacting revenge. This doesn't really come close to that.

Domino has no subtlety at all. It's all flash and noise, sound and fury and whatnot. The movie actually manages to be dull, despite the constant visual tomfoolery and deliberately convoluted plot.

It's a story about a jaded dropout ex-model who becomes a bounty hunter because it looks interesting. It sounds crazy, but according to the opening titles, it's "based on a true story--sort of." It is crazy, but only because there are so many double- and triple-crosses injected into the plot, you eventually just sit back and stare at the fiercely strobing Keira Knightley up on the screen.

Mickey Rourke was, as always, cool. Tom Waits has a guest appearance as a traveling preacher-oracle guy in the desert who holds forth prophecy to the bounty hunters while--wait for it--a Tom Waits song is playing in the background! Meta-film at its best!

I'm going to refuse to rate this on the grounds that I can and what are you going to do about it?

A History of Violence

I think this would make a great date movie. A cornucopia of some of the most brutal violence I've ever seen, completely unsympathetic characters and two of the most awkward uncomfortable sex scenes ever combine to make this the feel-good movie of the year.

Seriously, though, I don't know. I guess I just didn't really dig it.

Basically, Viggo Mortenson is a small-time diner owner in a small-time town who becomes a hero when he deftly kills two armed assailants in his eatery. His apparent aptitude for violence raises questions among his family--one of the more interesting areas explored by the film--and the locals. Some shady characters come to pay a visit to our hero, convinced they know him. Where it goes from there is up to you to find out, if you're still interested.

I consider myself fairly desensitized to violence (although I have not and will not see any of the famed Miike movies), but this stuff made me pretty uncomfortable. But look on the bright side: if I ever want to see a guy get slugged in the nose like forty times until his face is a bloody ruin, I can rent A History of Violence. As for the sex, I suppose I should have expected it from the guy who made the movie about people getting busy in car wrecks.

I liked Ed Harris and William Hurt in this and Viggo was decent, but like I said, none of the characters are even remotely sympathetic. Well, perhaps the Viggo's character's son, but he's kind of ancillary anyway. I don't mind if I hate a main character, but I at least want to care either way what happens. I didn't really care here, unfortunately.

Also, the movie opens with one of the most boring oners I've ever seen. There are better ways to convey boredom, Mr. Croenenberg (see: the opening to Once Upon a Time in the West). Shame on you.

I suppose A History of Violence gets two scalding coffee pots to the face out of a possible four scalding coffee pots to the face.

Wow.

In the matter of Penny Arcade v. Jack Thompson:

I read Penny Arcade quite regularly. It's a comic strip devoted to gamer culture which is an often funny, mostly clever, well drawn strip that I've been checking out since I went to school in '99. These guys have done great things with their exposure; Child's Play--a drive that they have organized and run the last two Christmas seasons--has donated ridiculous amounts of games, toys, and money to children's hospitals around the country. These guys have also butted heads with pretty much everyone possible. They've been forced to take a comic down by American Greetings, accidentally signed their publishing rights away, and now: Jack Thompson.

I first heard of Jack Thompson in an interview with EGM wherein he detailed his anti-game violence agenda fairly well. I got the impression that he was an intelligent lawyer who was concerned for the youth of today. You better believe he was all over the Hot Coffee thingy. Things have gotten odder and odder, though, as he seems to have begun a campaign of misinformation and bizarre proposals:

Miami, Florida Attorney Jack Thompson, a long-time outspoken critic of violent and sexually explicit videogames, has done something totally unexpected. Thompson today actually proposed a violent videogame, and will pay $10,000 to the favorite charity of Paul Eibeler (the Chairman of Take-Two Interactive) if any videogame company will "create, manufacture, distribute, and sell a video game in 2006" based on a scenario he created.

You can visit that article if you want to see a description of his "game" but it's pretty wretched, so maybe you're better off just staying here.

Anyway, somebody met his challenge and built a modification of an existing game to meet his criteria. Thompson chose to then pass off his proposal as satire, therefore no $10,000.

Penny Arcade's response?

Thompson now claims that his repellent suggestion was "satire," and we must conclude that his financial offer was also satire, some new breed of satire apparently that I'm sure is just hilarious to people in need.

You know what, Jack? We're going to be the men you're not. You said that your insulting, illusory ten thousand dollars would go to the charity of Paul Eibeler's choice. We've got a good guess that he'd direct your nonexistant largesse toward The Entertainment Software Association Foundation, a body that has raised over six point seven million dollars over the last eight years. We've just made the donation you never would, and never meant to. Ten thousand dollars' worth. And we made it in your name.

Absolute cojones. I love these guys.

If you want to read more from Penny Arcade's side of things (and in much better prose!), check these two news pages:
PA News 10/14
PA News 10/18

Ahahahaha

Kal-El Coppola Cage? Dude, you're just slating that kid for punishment.

In other news, go see Serenity.

Shame on you, America

[fanboy transmission]

1. Flightplan - $15.0M
2. Serenity - $10.1M
3. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - $9.8M
4. A History of Violence - $8.2M
5. Into the Blue - $7.0M

I must highlight the fact that the cinematic turd known as Flightplan outearned the delicious feast that is Serenity. $10.1 million isn't going to do it. The world needs sequels to be made! Well, I need sequels to be made, but let's not split hairs here.

It is encouraging that Serenity has the second highest dollars per theater figure. I'll be going again sometime this week, and you should too.

[/fanboy transmission]

Holy crap.

I was planning on seeing Serenity on Sunday out at AMC, but Seth and Chrissy came over last night and telepathically convinced me to go out at wimpy Carmike (RIP, GKC) Market Square here in town. Seriously, it was telepathic. They just looked at me and waited for me to suggest it.

The movie was fantastic. As a fan of the series, the movie was everything I had hoped it would be. It was a major gift to the faithful without devolving into total fan service; Serenity appears to be very accessible to newcomers as well. The film is thrilling, hilarious, and affecting - perhaps moreso than any I've seen so far this year.

Joss Whedon is back in the saddle in a big way. The action is some of the best he's ever shot, the dialogue is wonderful (as always--it's Joss), the special effects are as glorious as ever (probably even a little bit better), and the characters--sweet fancy Moses, the characters!

All the characters from the series are back and not a one has been corrupted by the Hollywood process. Mal (Nathan Fillion) displays the same split of stoic pragmatism and nobility he did in the series, and the limits of both are tested severely in the film. Jayne (Adam Baldwin) still provides a lot of gruff guy comedy, but he has a couple serious lines that just knock a room silent. Kaylee (Jewel Staite) is as adorable as ever and gets to deliver some of the funniest lines in the movie. The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is an assassin after the crew who, despite his deadly prowess, possesses a far more powerful weapon: unwavering belief in his cause.

I can't really say a whole lot more about the movie without spoiling major stuff, but let me say this: if you are going into a Joss Whedon movie without expecting to see a girl beating a lot of people up, you're way off base. River (Summer Glau) is absolutely butt-kickingly cool in this movie. If you've seen the series, you were expecting something like this the whole time; now you've got it.

I offer only one caveat for those who'd like to see this. See the television series first, please. Go out and buy it, rent it or, assuming you're a brigand of the worst sort, download it between bank robberies. You will enjoy this movie so much more if you've seen the series first. I geh-ron-tee.

So yeah. It's good. It's really really good.