A History of Violence

I think this would make a great date movie. A cornucopia of some of the most brutal violence I've ever seen, completely unsympathetic characters and two of the most awkward uncomfortable sex scenes ever combine to make this the feel-good movie of the year.

Seriously, though, I don't know. I guess I just didn't really dig it.

Basically, Viggo Mortenson is a small-time diner owner in a small-time town who becomes a hero when he deftly kills two armed assailants in his eatery. His apparent aptitude for violence raises questions among his family--one of the more interesting areas explored by the film--and the locals. Some shady characters come to pay a visit to our hero, convinced they know him. Where it goes from there is up to you to find out, if you're still interested.

I consider myself fairly desensitized to violence (although I have not and will not see any of the famed Miike movies), but this stuff made me pretty uncomfortable. But look on the bright side: if I ever want to see a guy get slugged in the nose like forty times until his face is a bloody ruin, I can rent A History of Violence. As for the sex, I suppose I should have expected it from the guy who made the movie about people getting busy in car wrecks.

I liked Ed Harris and William Hurt in this and Viggo was decent, but like I said, none of the characters are even remotely sympathetic. Well, perhaps the Viggo's character's son, but he's kind of ancillary anyway. I don't mind if I hate a main character, but I at least want to care either way what happens. I didn't really care here, unfortunately.

Also, the movie opens with one of the most boring oners I've ever seen. There are better ways to convey boredom, Mr. Croenenberg (see: the opening to Once Upon a Time in the West). Shame on you.

I suppose A History of Violence gets two scalding coffee pots to the face out of a possible four scalding coffee pots to the face.