Wednesday, June 28
Friday, May 12
Wednesday, April 26
*ping*
It occurs to me that my neverending struggle with junk mail is a startling parallel to the Alien(s) movies. Beset by ferocious carnivores, I withdraw into a sanctuary, but ultimately some corridors remain. These, of course, are my email addresses. For many, I'm able to seal access off entirely (the designated junk accounts, which I never check), but there are still one or two corridors that I need open; my squad is still out there, and they need to get to me.
I defend my important corridors with the best in automated anti-spam gunnery and I can watch the progress of the attempted intrusion with my motion detector, but inevitably the chitinous beasts slip through. While I calmly exterminate the threat and Bill Paxton screams "game over, man!" in the corner, I know that it is only a matter of time.
Today I received a stock tip--which was very courteous of Julian Burris--in my prized personal email. Thus begins the flood of acid-blooded creatures which will drown my inbox.
Dear Comcast account, I hardly knew ye.
I defend my important corridors with the best in automated anti-spam gunnery and I can watch the progress of the attempted intrusion with my motion detector, but inevitably the chitinous beasts slip through. While I calmly exterminate the threat and Bill Paxton screams "game over, man!" in the corner, I know that it is only a matter of time.
Today I received a stock tip--which was very courteous of Julian Burris--in my prized personal email. Thus begins the flood of acid-blooded creatures which will drown my inbox.
Dear Comcast account, I hardly knew ye.
Monday, April 10
This is dumb, but...
I was thinking about why lipstick is called lipstick. Is it because it sticks to lips, or because it comes in stick form? I'm thinking it's probably the second, because otherwise we might be rubbing chapstick on our leather over-pants contraptions.
Thursday, April 6
Sunday, February 26
Wednesday, February 22
Current events!
Well, it made me laugh.
(a little frightening that you can get it on a thong)
(also, apologies if I stole this from your blog/site/brain; I bookmarked it and couldn't remember where I got it)
(appended parenthetical)
(a little frightening that you can get it on a thong)
(also, apologies if I stole this from your blog/site/brain; I bookmarked it and couldn't remember where I got it)
(appended parenthetical)
Thursday, January 26
How is that even a thing?
In an article on Yahoo! News about the escalation of mockery on American Idol (and let's not mince words--the only parts of this show worth watching are the parts which contain mockery), I came across this gem of a quote:
However, when it comes to the show's bluntness about contestants, heavy or otherwise, that's simply reality, said Peggy Howell, spokeswoman for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.
National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance? What? Do you have to be fat to work there? Seriously, with the obesity rates like they are, do you really think anyone has a problem accepting fat people?
I'm going to start some other completely unnecessary society, like the National Coalition for the Unrestricted Cultivation of Mustachios.
However, when it comes to the show's bluntness about contestants, heavy or otherwise, that's simply reality, said Peggy Howell, spokeswoman for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.
National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance? What? Do you have to be fat to work there? Seriously, with the obesity rates like they are, do you really think anyone has a problem accepting fat people?
I'm going to start some other completely unnecessary society, like the National Coalition for the Unrestricted Cultivation of Mustachios.
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