Sorry it took so long. I'm sure you were waiting with bated breath. Bated!
Jack slew two villians this week at a botched hostage/Russian military chip swap which, if "successful", would have meant Jack blowing himself up, along with uncountable Chinese dudes. Whew. (Would he get credit for killing himself?) You know, it seems like when Jack's suicide/hostage swap plot is foiled, the very least I should expect is one "DAMMIT!" This is getting disappointing. We did, however, have one "DAMMIT!" back at CTU.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 24 (!!!!)
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 23
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 11
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.263
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.211
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.579
My buddies Seth and Chrissy realized 24 was on about 10 minutes into it, asked each other if they wanted to watch, and both said, "meh." I'm starting to feel that way too. I just can't muster the enthusiasm for this after 5.79 seasons of this. There's always statistics, though.
Showing posts with label jack bauer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jack bauer. Show all posts
Saturday, April 28
Wednesday, April 18
Jack Bauer takes the night off (episode 18)
Jack Bauer decided not to accrue any statistics tonight, and when Jack Bauer decides not to accrue statistics, you let him.
One "DAMMIT!" from Chloe. Guess that's it.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 22
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 22
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 11
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.222
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.222
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.611
Yep.
One "DAMMIT!" from Chloe. Guess that's it.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 22
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 22
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 11
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.222
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.222
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.611
Yep.
Tuesday, April 10
Jack Bauer Kills Everyone (episode 17)
Sweet sassy molassey, Jack's been busy. He said the coveted "DAMMIT!" twice. In addition to "killing" two guys in an elaborate ruse, Jack killed six actual people last night. He was like some sort of truck-transmitted terrorist epidemic, taking suckers out with one shot while they sprayed their ineffectual AKs all over the place. Four evil bad guys were taken out with the pistol, while he snapped another dude's neck and strangled the main Skeletor-looking bad guy with a winch chain.
Says Jack to emaciated terrorist Fayed: "Say hello to your brother."
I wanted so badly for him to add "...IN HELL."
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 22
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 21
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 11
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.294
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.235
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.647
The show is ridiculous, but that's why we love it.
Says Jack to emaciated terrorist Fayed: "Say hello to your brother."
I wanted so badly for him to add "...IN HELL."
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 22
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 21
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 11
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.294
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.235
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.647
The show is ridiculous, but that's why we love it.
Tuesday, April 3
The Jack Attack Stat Pack (episode 16)
Two kills, no "DAMMIT!"s.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 16
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 19
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 9
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.0
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.188
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.563
Sigh. Even for 24, this episode was pretty ridiculous. You get the President out of his coma to prevent the evil Vice President from nuking a Middle-Eastern country, which he does, at first, only to have him reverse policy and decide to go ahead and do it anyway, just because. Since when do you show terrorists a lesson by nuking a country? What the heck?
Oh, and the political-correctness-motivated non-identification of the terrorists' home country is so very absurd. It's been bizarre to watch the writers try to work around naming a country to avoid offending people. It's just a silly TV show. Offend someone already.
UPDATE:
Chrissy beat me to the punch on the bewilderment. Just giving credit where credit is due.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 16
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 19
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 9
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 1.0
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.188
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.563
Sigh. Even for 24, this episode was pretty ridiculous. You get the President out of his coma to prevent the evil Vice President from nuking a Middle-Eastern country, which he does, at first, only to have him reverse policy and decide to go ahead and do it anyway, just because. Since when do you show terrorists a lesson by nuking a country? What the heck?
Oh, and the political-correctness-motivated non-identification of the terrorists' home country is so very absurd. It's been bizarre to watch the writers try to work around naming a country to avoid offending people. It's just a silly TV show. Offend someone already.
UPDATE:
Chrissy beat me to the punch on the bewilderment. Just giving credit where credit is due.
Tuesday, March 27
The Jack Bauer Rundown, episode 15
Now we're talking!
Jack was personally responsible for two deaths in this episode: the critically wounded guy from last time ("he didn't make it.") and another unnamed Russian terrorist. In addition, Jack was the source of two of the episode's three "DAMMIT!"s. Very productive!
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 14
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 19
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 9
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.933
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.267
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.6
Increases in all categories! Jack used a developmentally disabled guy to trap a terrorist in this episode. I'm not sure if this is completely consistent with his style, or a new low.
Either way, until next time: doot - deet - doot - deet - doot - deet
Jack was personally responsible for two deaths in this episode: the critically wounded guy from last time ("he didn't make it.") and another unnamed Russian terrorist. In addition, Jack was the source of two of the episode's three "DAMMIT!"s. Very productive!
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 14
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 19
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 9
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.933
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.267
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.6
Increases in all categories! Jack used a developmentally disabled guy to trap a terrorist in this episode. I'm not sure if this is completely consistent with his style, or a new low.
Either way, until next time: doot - deet - doot - deet - doot - deet
Monday, March 19
The Jack Bauer Rundown, episode 14
Exciting stuff!
It should please you to know that Jack Bauer killed 2 people in this episode (with one more left critically wounded) and 1 "DAMMIT!" was spewed forth, though not by the quieter-than-normal Jack.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 12
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 16
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 7
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.857
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.143
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.5
Things are moving along briskly. Jack still needs to pick up his "DAMMIT!" production to be up to snuff, but he's increased fatalities by 14% on the season in just one episode. It should also be noted that Jack saved San Francisco from a nuclear weapon by flying a remote control plane!
Awesome.
It should please you to know that Jack Bauer killed 2 people in this episode (with one more left critically wounded) and 1 "DAMMIT!" was spewed forth, though not by the quieter-than-normal Jack.
This brings our season totals up to:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 12
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 16
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 7
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.857
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.143
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.5
Things are moving along briskly. Jack still needs to pick up his "DAMMIT!" production to be up to snuff, but he's increased fatalities by 14% on the season in just one episode. It should also be noted that Jack saved San Francisco from a nuclear weapon by flying a remote control plane!
Awesome.
Monday, March 12
The Jack Bauer Rundown
Since the beginning of the 6th season of 24, I've been keeping track of some key statistics. We're already 13 episodes in, so I'm a little behind the times, but we'll get everything up to date here and then there'll be weekly updates.
24 can pretty much be boiled down to two major components:
1) Jack Bauer laying waste to mortal men
2) Someone (usually Jack) saying (usually screaming) "DAMMIT!"
Because these two factors are so important, these have been my statistics. I've been keeping track of Jack's kills and instances of "DAMMIT!" Additionally, there will be season averages presented: JBKpH - Jack Bauer Kills per Hour, DpH - "DAMMIT!"s per Hour and JBDpH - Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour. It was difficult deciding whether extra kills should be awarded in extremely awesome situations; say, for instance, Jack tears a man's throat out with his mouth (first episode, baby!). I decided to say a kill is a kill and keep it simple.
Without further ado, here are the statistics so far:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 10
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 15
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 7
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.769
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.154
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.538
With Jack accounting for less than half of the "DAMMIT!"s, I'm left a little astounded. We'll see what happens. Other than that, I have no idea what to make of these numbers.
24 can pretty much be boiled down to two major components:
1) Jack Bauer laying waste to mortal men
2) Someone (usually Jack) saying (usually screaming) "DAMMIT!"
Because these two factors are so important, these have been my statistics. I've been keeping track of Jack's kills and instances of "DAMMIT!" Additionally, there will be season averages presented: JBKpH - Jack Bauer Kills per Hour, DpH - "DAMMIT!"s per Hour and JBDpH - Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour. It was difficult deciding whether extra kills should be awarded in extremely awesome situations; say, for instance, Jack tears a man's throat out with his mouth (first episode, baby!). I decided to say a kill is a kill and keep it simple.
Without further ado, here are the statistics so far:
Total Jack Bauer-caused fatalities: 10
Total utterances of "DAMMIT!": 15
Total Jack Bauer-uttered "DAMMIT!"s: 7
Which leaves us with these season averages:
JBKpH (Jack Bauer Kills per Hour): 0.769
DpH ("DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 1.154
JBDpH (Jack Bauer "DAMMIT!"s per Hour): 0.538
With Jack accounting for less than half of the "DAMMIT!"s, I'm left a little astounded. We'll see what happens. Other than that, I have no idea what to make of these numbers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)